10 GOING ON 13
A transition course giving pre-teens the tools, skills, and information to navigate and thrive in the new world of secondary (middle) school and adolescence.
Congratulations!
You've hit a new milestone with your pre-teenager.
-The end of primary school and now off to secondary (middle) school OR
-New into the double digits where the journey to adolescence begins OR
-You are celebrating their 11th or 12th birthday, the last stop to the teen years.
Sounds like you?
Excellent. You're in the right place, especially if you are a busy parent but keen on raising a teenager who is equipped to navigate the turns and bends of the teenager years.
Here's the thing-
Building a happy and thriving relationship with a teenager and ensuring they can navigate and thrive through the adolescence years, not caving into negative pressure and influences around them doesn't happen by chance.
It's also a 2 sided coin.
The first side of the coin is you having the skills required to parent through the teenage phase and even more important is the second side of the coin, which is your pre-teen having the skills and tools to navigate the teenage years.
But many parents do not realize this dynamic and shift, hence they make some costly parenting mistakes, believing some myths that eventually sets them up for a rocky relationship with their pre-teens down the line.
Let's explore a few of these myths/mistakes:
- Saying my child is a good child so they won't be needing any skill as they grow older- because they are superhumans !
- Equating being academically smart to being street or life smart.
- Seeing their pre-teens as babies and assume their outlook to life will stay same or they'll be there to protect them forever anyway.
- Waiting for a future time to equip their pre-teens or have the most important conversations because of their busy schedule or just hoping everything will be fine.
- Sitting in the exalted position of the parent who controls the show
If any of these sounds familiar, then it's time to make the big shift but even more important is to get your pre-teen ready for their new phase.
Why the pre- teen years are super important.
So what's the fuss ? I'll tell you.
The ages between 10 and 13 are your pre-teen's first independent, and most crucial years.
They are beginning to build their foundation- form their identity, build their tribe and they now make independent choices which can be defining. They will also go through significant changes which coincides with when your pre-teens are exposed to a bigger world of influence- the world of secondary(middle) school, friendships, the internet and more.
Still wondering why the pre-teen years can be defining ?
Statistics show that:
80% of girls experience a dip in confidence from the age of 9, which has a significant toll on how they see themselves and the quality of decisions they make.
7 in 10 believe that they are not good enough or don't measure up in some way, including their looks, performance in school and relationships with friends and family members.
Pre-teens- boys and girls, worry about how they fit in with friends, not doing well in school, fighting in their family, and can trigger drug or alcohol use, isolation and mental breakdown.
These issues only deepen in the late teens, hence the need for the right information and support paving the way to growing into a thriving adult.
Would you take the chances?
Or would you rather be confident that your pre-teen can
If this is where you want to be:
I gatchu!
Hey! I’m Fola
I'm a parenting strategist and teens development expert. I help busy working parents create a tailored roadmap and strategy to raise teens they can confidently release into the real world. And in my 15 years as a teens expert, I've helped thousands of teens find their voice and build life skills, preparing them for the real world.
In 2018, I sat with my girls in one of the programs I run at Brighter Girls. Fortunately, those present were all in their first and second year of secondary (middle) school. Being in a safe space, they freely shared their experiences in schools and to say the least, I was shocked at how exposed they were, and the challenges they were already facing with many of them saying their parents do not have a clue what goes on in their schools (and life).
By now, they already had their first share of bullying, body shaming, friendship drama, boy-girl drama, unhealthy competition, exposure to sexually explicit words and situations and more.
I immediately carried out a survey which was telling of how ill equipped pre-teens were as they faced new experiences and the world of adolescence.
‘10 going on 13’ course and community was born and it has been the safe place for many pre-teens since 2019.
As a parent to a teenager and pre-teen, ‘10 going on 13’ has become a rite of passage and a holistic way of having the most important conversations with my boys which inevitably leaves the door open for further conversations.
The rounded curriculum guides and sets the standard of our shared values and expectations of navigating secondary school and the teenage years- the real world.
‘10 going on 13’ can also be your pass into raising a pre-teen and teenager who is equipped with the right values, skills and tools and can thrive in the real world,
Introducing...
10 going on 13
A 12-weeks transition course and support community giving pre-teens the tools, information and support they need to navigate and thrive through the adolescent years.
It is designed for pre-teens
- transiting into the teenage years transiting to secondary schools
-already in secondary school, navigating the changes of the teen years
-boys and girls, ages 10-13.
10 going on 13 is like a compass you ‘gift’ your pre-teen to navigate the new uncharted paths of adolescence, friendship, social media, identity and more.
Within the first week of class, I saw changes immediately.
Within the first week of the course, my daughter requested a bedtime clock, re-shuffled her wake up time and became more responsible with her time. Over the course of the term, her school work also improved greatly; she was surprised at how well she had improved.
I definitely will recommend the course and community to other parents.
Mrs. Abiona
Parent to Participant
2021
Our Signature Design Framework
A pre- course assessment for both parents and pre-teen helps us to meet you so we can give tailored support and attention during course duration.
6 pre-recorded modules of in depth life skills classes taught by I and other experts tailored to the pre-teen audience released bi-weekly so your pre-teen can learn at their pace. This is followed by bi-weekly review and engagement. This alongside assignments and other funs activities allows 4 different interfaces with the curriculum to facilitate in-depth learning and real-life practice.
Our safe space community with small class to facilitate personal experience and much needed hand holding. There's no getting lost in the mix . your pre-teen is seen, heard and assignments are all reviewed and given personal feedback. Talk about growth.
Mentor sessions with experts to facilitate further learnings like only they can. Successful teens also share their experiences guided by me in some modules, Your pre-teen also gets to ask any question or have a mentor walk them through a hard time they may be facing in school or at home.
Actionable worksheets, easy yet immersing assignments that opens your pre-teens mind to new realizations and worldview. This includes parent and child engagement. Expect your child to ask you questions and seize the moment to teach your pre-teen in your own voice. This is the perfect conversation starter!
After Course Parent Feedback Session where you get tailored feedback not just about the session but your pre-teen and your next step.
The video lessons made me understand each topic more
When my parents signed me up for this class I wasn't sure I was going to like it. Now, I feel different. When I started, I watched the videos which really made my understanding on each topic way better and it was really interesting. When I come to class I feel good because Coach Fola and my classmates make the environment a safe place and also a fun place too. I look forward to seeing you all in the next class.
Tife (Boy)
Participant 2023
The Perfect Conversation Starter
My daughter found this class exciting and new. It made me realize so many values and ideals we were yet to discuss. It gave us the opportunity to start having those important conversations. Every parent needs to sign up for this course.
Mrs. Adams
Parent to Participant UK
2022
Imagine the joy of the big changes happening with your pre-teen at the end of 12- weeks.
Here's how we get it done
MODULE 1- FINDING ME
Teenagers with a healthy sense of self develop a healthy self esteem and are able to make decisions from a place of strength. Finding Me explores a pre-teen’s journey to finding who they are, wants to be and how to stay authentic in a diverse world; whether it’s in school or online. In this class, your pre-teen will learn the different influences that shape us and how our identities are formed. More so, how they begin to build their own identity through the choices they make.
MODULE 2- IT'S TIME FOR BIG CHANGES
Pre-teens not only go through physical changes but also social, mental and psychological changes. This class explores how and why these changes occur and gives tools to navigate these changes. We will also explore how teens’ brains change during adolescent years and how this influences their decisions and choices. In this class, your pre-teen will also listen to experts dive into these how their body and brain are changing, personal hygiene and the impact of social media on body image.
MODULE 3- BUILDING MY VALUES AND IDENTITY
Once your pre-teen leaves the door off to school, they are exposed to several influences in class, school and even in the media. How do they draw the line? This class teaches the meaning and importance of our values, the beliefs built around them and how they shape our identity and choices now and in the future. It also explores the different values you share with your pre-teen as a family with a goal of reiterating your shared values and grounding her core. By the end of this module, your pre-teen will identify their unique values and why.
MODULE 4- IN MY CORNER
Pre-teens and teenagers now spend a huge amount of time with friends and also build their identity around this association. This implies the importance of who they have in their corner and how to navigate the friendship waters. In this course, your pre-teen will learn the importance of friendships, what a healthy friendship is and not and how to build friendships around their values and identity.
MODULE 5- SOCIAL SKILLS FOR TEENS
Building a new ecosystem is one of the highlights of the pre-teen and teenage phase. With your pre-teens coming into new environments such as new schools and online space and building new friendship, it is key they have the skills to navigate this new world and uncharted paths. What about your pre-teen knowing how to hold their own? This module will dive into the must have skills such as friendship fix, making new friends, peer pressure, how to know no etc. At least 10 social skills will be learnt in this module.
MODULE 6- NAVIGATING TECH, MEDIA AND DIGITAL WORLD
In an unprecedented way, social media and technology now influences children’s choices and perspectives. Still, the ability to navigate how it influences them lies within them and the tools they have to. This module introduces your pre-teen to the world of tech and media and also gives them these tools to build a healthy relationship and boundaries around technology and the media.
And then, these extra bonuses even makes 10 going on 13 super special.
Just for you.
I wanted a trusted village and adult to support my child. I got it!
I signed up my 10 year old daughter because I believe that it takes a village to raise a child and I wanted her to also be mentored by a trusted and neutral source outside the house. This experience was super amazing. My daughter found the course enlightening and it let me discover some new things about her. She learnt how to be accountable, what her values are and what they mean.
Mrs T. Falola
Parent of Participant 2023
I was super impressed by Coach Fola's in depth knowledge and professionalism
I signed my daughter up because I wanted her equipped with tools, strategies and support to thrive in her pre-teen to teen phase. I was impressed with the consistency, professionalism and In-depth knowledge exhibited by Coach Fola.My daughter always sounded excited when it was time for the class. She enjoyed the conversations and varied experiences shared by other girls in the group. I observed visible improvement in her social skills, self-awareness and organization.
Mrs Abiona
Parent of Participant 2021
Let's recap
Here's waiting for you inside 10 going on 13
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N65,000
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Course + 6 month Community Support
N150,000
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Perfect Preparatory course for my son's transition to secondary school.
Best investment This course made my son feel confident about resuming secondary school. After the first day and week of school, I saw him use the right vocabulary around his choices of friendships. He called everyone acquittances and he said he was on the watch out for those who they shared similar values with him. I definitely knew his choice of language and actions were direct benefit of the 10 going on 13 course.
Very highly recommended.
Mrs Oluwatoyin
Parent of Participant 2023
I was super impressed by Coach Fola's in depth knowledge and professionalism
This course was amazing and fun. I could express myself freely. I loved the assignments on ‘finding me’ because I had to learn about different people who inspired me to dream. Now I know I shouldn’t change myself to be friends with someone.
Joju ( Girl)
Participant UK 2022
FAQ
-After sign-up, you’ll get a pre-course assessment that allows me to meet you and your pre-teen.
-Your pre-teen will receive a unique link to access the course portal where they access course and assignments
-Your pre-teen will also be welcomed into our community where important announcements will be shared, conversations held and assignment plus feedback submitted.
-Students will get worksheets and take-home assignments including those they will engage their parents on and their due dates
-Assignments are reviewed and personal feedbacks are sent in and again discussed during our next review sessions.
All classes are online. However, In-persons session and hangout for community and further learnings hold at scheduled time, It is optional and conditions apply.
I10 going on 13 is for boys and girls. (we however have a handful of expert and gender sensitive conversation held separately)
TIt is a self paced course and modules are pre-recorded. Videos are easy to understand and fun. They are also all pre-teens tested and aprroved. They have been broken into a time stretch of about 5-20 mins. Your pre-teen can create a designated time to listen just like they do with their school assignment.
With 6 months access your pre-teen will have time to go through and also be supported while in school given that social issues teenagers go through don’t just pop up during the holidays. They are in fact heightened during the school season and having access to tools to navigate these murky waters and a community to support and hold you accountable is priceless!
IAbsolutely, with 6 months of access to course and community, your pre-teen have 2 mid-terms and one long holiday to learn through course modules and enjoy our bonus. During the holidays we have expedited review classes for those in boarding school.
Our mid-term check in and reviews also allow your pre-teen to unpack events in school while with my expert eyes, I access and ensure they are doing great. Where there are reasons for concerns, you will be notified.
Valid point especially if you're meeting me for the first time. Do take your time on my social media handles to intimate yourself with my values and perspective. You can also book a quick 15 min call or send your questions to support@adefolashade.com.
In addition to this, careful thoughts have been put into this course, we kept it introductory level though detailed and value packed. You can also watch with your pre-teen and do the parent engagement exercises. This way you are well abreast of what your pre-teen is listening to.
Each module is an average of 45- 75 mins. They are released weekly and followed by another week of reviews and check in. I know kids spend more time on leisure or games.
Nonetheless, this is what works best; have a designated time and space when they listen in and do the 10 going on 13 engagements. Let your pre-teen use their journal and have timely conversations about their learnings. Where they have questions, they can pop it in the community or ask during the bi-weekly check ins.
As 10 going on 13 course is a group course and community, your pre-teen will need your support and follow up to ensure they go through the course and are on top of the assignment. This is key though the course and community support has been intricately designed to ensure your pre-teen is well absorbed and taking the lessons from head knowledge to practical engagement. If you want more tailored support and resources, send an email to support@adefolashade.com
We are here for it. Send a mail to support@adefolashade.com
Let's be clear on what ''10 going on 13'' isn't
This was so much fun. It felt like 30mins
"I really enjoyed this class. I learned 'soooooo' much from it. It felt like a 30 mins class even though it was about an hour." I like that we get to relate with each other. It was fun!
Toni
Parent of Participant 2022
I'll be back in class in October
This last 5 weeks of 10 going on 13 has been an amazing experience I have made new friends learnt a lot and now I know a lot more It has been so fun coming to class and recapping among ourselves on the modules I will miss that very much but what can I do Ill be back for class in October so until then shall we meet again Thank You guys for the wonderful experience.
Tife
Participant 2023
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